Page 4.

DID YOU KNOW THIS? CANNON BALLS.
It was necessary to keep a good supply of
cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem, how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus it was quite literally, cold enough to
freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
All this time, you thought that was just a vulgar expression, didn’t you?

Fabulous bit of knowledge

Sent in by S/M Dave Phillips.

A police officer spots a man staggering up the street waving his car keys all over the place. ‘In a bit of bother are we sir’ the copper asked. (in slurred voice)The man said ‘yer, some bloody mongrel has stolen the car right off the end of my key’ as he waved the keys in the officers face. The copper looked down and noticed the gentleman had his fly undone and old fella was hanging out for all to see.
“Umm sir, I think you might need to tuck yourself in and do up your fly’.
The drunk looks down and became a bit hysterical, he starts to sob then leans into the officer and says “the mongrel has stole my woman too!.
Bath Tub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup”. “No” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug out. Now, do you want a bed near the window or not?”

S/M Dave Phillips