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WE OFFER OUR PRAYERS AND CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILIES OF SHIPMATES :- MICHAEL BRIMFIELD AND ALBERT PRICE WHO CROSSED THE BAR THIS MONTH. BOTH SHIPMATES WERE ON THE 1954 - 1956 COMMISSION.
BEFORE I START ON THIS MONTHS RAMBLING WOULD LIKE TO SAY ABOUT THE LATE HOLIDAY PROPOSED FOR OCTOBER. SUE PHILLIPS HAS GOT TOGETHER WITH ISLE OF WIGHT TOURS AND COME UP WITH A WEEKS HOLIDAY TO JERSEY. THIS WILL BE FROM 9TH OCTOBER TO 16TH OCTOBER SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY BOOKED BUT ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN GOING SHOULD CONTACT “ SHIRLEY ” AT ISLE OF WIGHT TOURS - TELEPHONE NUMBER 01983405116 AND ARRANGE WITH HER FOR THE TRIP. I’M TRAVELLING BY PLANE AS BEING AN EX.STOKER DON’T FANCY GOING VIA THE OGGIN. THE JOURNEY FROM UP HERE IN THE NORTH IS ABIT TOO FAR BY CAR AND BOAT AND FROM HERE IT IS ONLY AN HOUR BY PLANE.
MONICA IS IN SICK BAY THIS MONTH. SHE HAD A FALL ON 10TH MAY BREAKING A BONE IN HER LITTLE FINGER, ALSO BREAKING HER WRIST AND CHIPPING HER PELVIS BONE. SHE SPENT 10 DAYS IN HOSPITAL BUT OFF COURSE BEING MONICA NEVER TOLD ANYONE ONLY FAMILY AS DIDN’T WANT ANY FUSS. ANYWAY SHE IS NOW ON HER WAY TO FULL RECOVERY AND LOOKING FORWARD TOGETHER WITH HER SISTER MARIE TO THE TRIP IN OCTOBER TO JERSEY.
LAST MONTH I TOLD YOU ABOUT TIM LENNON WHO WAS LOOKING FOR INFORMATION ABOUT HIS FATHER JIMMY WHO HE UNDERSTOOD WAS A CHEF ON THE DUCHESS BETWEEN 1954 AND 1957. POPEYE (JIM MONKS) HAS LET ME KNOW THAT HE HAS A FULL CREW NAME FOR THAT TERM AND NO ONE OF THE NAME LENNON WAS ON IT THEN. IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE THAT CAN HELP TIM FIND OUT SOME INFORMATION ABOUT HIS DAD’S SERVICE IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
WE HAVE HAD THE LONGEST DAY AND THE SHORTEST NIGHT SO THAT MEANS WE ARE HALF WAY THROUGH THE YEAR, WHERE DOES THE TIME GO. THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM HAVE HAD THEIR MATCH AND BEEN STUFFED BY GERMANY. IF OUR OLD SHIPMATE “TOPSY” HAD BEEN WATCHING HE WOULD HAVE SAID TO ME TRANMERE ROVERS COULD HAVE DONE BETTER AND I MUST AGREE EVEN THOUGH HIS WORDS WOULD HAVE BEEN IN JEST.
HOPE EVERYONE IS ENJOYING THE BRILLIANT WEATHER THAT WE ARE HAVING AT THE MOMENT. THE DOWN SIDE OF IT IS THAT IN GOD’S OWN COUNTRY WE ARE BEING THREATENED WITH A HOSEPIPE BAN. WE HAD FLOODS A FEW MONTHS AGO BUT SEEMINGLY THIS DOESN’T COUNT, PROBABLY FLOGGING THE WATER DOWN SOUTH OF WATFORD. OUR SOUTHERN COUSINS WILL BE HAPPY THAT THE NEXT AGM HAS BEEN AGREED AND WILL BE AT BOURNEMOUTH NEXT YEAR. LAST TIME WE HAD IT DOWN THERE IT WAS A GREAT WEEKEND BUT THIS TIME SHOULD BE EVEN BETTER AS THE HOTEL HAS AN INDOOR POOL ETC. SO DON’T FORGET YOUR COSSIES. THE WEEKEND HAS BEEN ORGANISED ON THE DUCHESS’S BEHALF BY SHIRLEY OF ISLE OF WIGHT TOURS. THINK SHIRLEY WILL OWE MY A PINT FOR ALL THE MENTIONING SHE IS GETTING THIS MONTH.
DAVE PHILLIPS WAS BASED IN BLACKPOOL FOR A SHORT HOLIDAY RECENTLY WHICH INCLUDED GOING TO THE LAKE DISTRICT. HE ENJOYED THE TRIP BUT FOUND OUT TO HIS COST THAT HE WAS MILES FROM THE LAKES. SO BE WARNED BLACKPOOL IS NOT A BASE FOR THE LAKES. A FEW YEARS AGO WE BOOKED TO GO THE TATTOO IN EDINBURGH, WE WERE TO STAY IN PITLOCHERY WHICH WE FOUND OUT WHEN WE GOT THERE WAS NEARLY 2.5 HOURS AWAY. SO AS THEY SAY WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS.
GOING THROUGH SOME OLD PAPERS THAT WERE HANGING ABOUT CAME ACROSS A SHEET ENTITLED “ NICKNAMES GIVEN TO MATELOTS WITH CERTAIN NAMES” THE FOLLOWING ARE JUST A FEW :-
| NICKNAME | SURNAME | NICKNAME | SURNAME |
| RONNIE | BARKER | BUCK | TAYLOR/RYAN/ROGERS |
| DICKY | BIRD | CONNIE | FRANCES |
| NOBBY | CLARKE | PRICKY | PRICE |
| SCRUMPY | MARSHAL | PUSSER | HILL |
| SPUD | MURPHY | SLINGER | WOOD |
| ALFIE | NEWMAN | TUG | WILSON |
| SHARKEY | WARD | LEGS | DIAMOND |
| SHINER | WRIGHT | DUSTY | MILLER |
PERHAPS YOU COULD LET ME KNOW WHAT YOURS WAS .
OH TO BE 6 AGAIN
A MAN WAS SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THE BED, OBSERVING HIS WIFE, LOOKING AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR. SINCE HER BIRTHDAY WAS NOT FAR OFF HE ASKED HER WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR HER BIRTHDAY. “I’D LIKE TO BE SIX AGAIN”, SHE REPLIED, STILL LOOKING IN THE MIRROR. ON THE MORNING OF HER BIRTHDAY, HE AROSE EARLY, MADE HER A NICE BOWL OF LUCKY CHARMS, AND THEN TOOK HER TO THE THEME PARK. WHAT A DAY! HE PUT HER ON EVERY RIDE IN THE PARK; THE DEATH SLIDE, WALL OF FEAR, MONSTER ROLLER COASTER, IN FACT EVERYTHING THAT WAS THERE. FIVE HOURS LATER THEY STAGGERED OUT OF THE THEME PARK. HER HEAD WAS REELING, AND HER STOMACH FELT UPSIDE DOWN. HE THEN TOOK HER TO MACDONALDS WHERE HE ORDERED HER AS A HAPPY MEAL WITH EXTRA FRIES AND A CHOCOLATE SHAKE. THEN IT WAS OFF TO A MOVIE, A SODA POP, AND HER FAVOURITE SWEETS, M&M’S. WHAT A FABULOUS ADVENTURE. FINALLY SHE WOBBLED HOME WITH HER HUSBAND AND COLLASPED I NTO BED EXHAUSTED. HE LEANED OVER HIS WIFE WITH A BIG SMILE AND LOVINGLY ASKED, “WELL DEAR, WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE SIX AGAIN?”. HER EYES SLOWLY OPENED AND HER EXPRESSION SUDDENLY CHANGED. “I MEANT MY DRESS SIZE, YOU MORON!”.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY : EVEN WHEN A MAN IS LISTENING, HE IS GONNA GET IT WRONG.
RETIREE GREETER:-
CHARLIE, A NEW RETIREE GREETER AT B&Q, JUST COULDN’T SEEM TO GET TO WORK ON TIME. EVERY DAY HE WAS 5, 10 OR 15 MINUTES LATE. BUT HE WAS A GOOD WORKER, REALLY TIDY, CLEAN SHAVEN, SHARP MINDED AND A REAL CREDIT TO THE COMPANY, OBVIOUSLY EPITOMISING THEIR ‘OLDER PERSON FRIENDLY’ POLICIES. ONE DAY THE BOSS CALLED HIM INTO THE OFFICE FOR A TALK, “CHARLIE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU BEING LATE SO OFTEN IS BECOMING BOTHERSOME.” “YES I KNOW BOSS AND I AM WORKING ON IT.” “WELL GOOD, YOU ARE A TEAM PLAYER. THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR. IT’S ODD THOUGH, YOU COMING IN LATE. I KNOW YOU RETIRED FROM THE ARMED FORCES. WHAT DID THEY SAY IF YOU CAME IN LATE THEN.” “THEY SAID, ‘GOOD MORNING, ADMIRAL. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE NOW, SIR?.”
WELL THAT’S ME LOT FOR THIS MONTH SHIPMATES BILL WRIGHT.